I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
