Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
