thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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