I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
