the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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