I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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