Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
ok first of all what the fuck
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
