just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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