He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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