I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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