WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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