Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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