Please, let me fuck your mom
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
