she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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