I look better un-naked...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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