dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
