Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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