My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
