wanna go halves on a baby?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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