it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
