That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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