the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
