dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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