Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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