fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
