I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
