I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
