How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
