oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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