I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
