well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
