I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she peed on how many people?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize