so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
