Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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