I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
