How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
