she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
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I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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