But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
