so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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