How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
