So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just tell him i said nine months
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
