i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
