now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
