So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
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got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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