i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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