my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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