Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
