Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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