If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
