someone threw a dead crab at me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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