either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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