So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
