my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
