yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
