and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have fence marks all over my body
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
