i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
