Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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