sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize