It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
