How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
