god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
