I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
