I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
