i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
