U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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