it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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