i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Couch. On fire.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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